Today we begin with a possible philippino spy in the White House who allegedly stole over one hundred classified documents from vice president Cheney's computers. According to a criminal complaint, the man was arrested last month while he worked for the FBI at an intelligence center in Fort Monmouth, N.J.
***A Spy In The House Of Dumb?***

Al Gore is concerned about the loss of America's "marketplace of ideas" due to television and the consolidation of power within the few who own the airwaves. In a speech today he talked of forming his own network which will recreate a multi- way conversation that includes individuals and operates according to a meritocracy of ideas.
***Gore Broadcasts His Own Views***

With the Palestinian Israeli conflict looking rosier every day, it really helps that Bush was quoted by Palestinian Prime Minister Mahmoud Abbas as saying, "God told me to strike at al Qaida and I struck them, and then he instructed me to strike at Saddam, which I did, and now I am determined to solve the problem in the Middle East. If you help me I will act, and if not, the elections will come and I will have to focus on them."
***Bush Says God Told Him To Invade Iraq***

The Catholic bishops of England, Wales and Scotland are warning their five million worshippers, as well as any others drawn to the study of scripture, that they should not expect “total accuracy” from the Bible. It seems verses like, "God said to the woman [after she was beguiled by the serpent]: I will greatly multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children, yet your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” don't go over very well these days.
***God reveals himself to Moses as: “I am who I am.”***

A new advertising campagin for Ireland's largest bookmaker, Paddy Power PLC, featured Jesus and his disciples at the Last Supper table- playing poker and roulette alongside the slogan, "There's a place for fun and games." After receiving scores of complaints from the public, the offending billboards were replaced with new Paddy Power ads that said: "There's a place for fun and games. Apparently this isn't it."
***Take A Gamble With Jesus***

Ahh, on to SCOTUS nominee Harriet Miers. Now as far as I can tell her most recent job was White House counsel who headed the search for the appointment of herself, and before that she was chairwoman of the Texas Lottery Commission. Now I don't know about you but it seems to me that appointing somebody who's never even judged a case to the highest court in the land is insane. I can't wait to see how Republicans struggle to praise her judicial record when she doesn't have one. This should be an interesting line of questioning in Congress.
"So, if you ever were a judge, how would you..."
"Let's pretend you were a judge and you had to make a really big decision..."
Considering that we know nothing about her, or how she feels one way or another in respect to anything, and we don't expect to get any info anytime soon (a la Roberts) we are pleased to present a link to Wonkettes Miers look-a-like contest.
***Who Is Harriet Miers?***

Japanese scientists have taken the first ever pictures of a live giant squid off the Ogasawara Islands, southeast of Japan. While this guy was 26 feet long, the longest giant squid on record measured 59 feet.
***Giant Squid Photographs***

Meanwhile, scientists in Florida teach dolphins to sing the Batman theme song.
Still no cure for cancer.
***Holy Blowholes, Batman!***

Esteko B'ekho, a Spanish city of some sixty thousand inhabitants which was abandoned in approximately 1609, was located by Argentinean archaeologists.
***Ancient City Discovered***

The Chinese have developed a $600,000 satellite system to peep on the sexual antics of the highly endangered giant pandas. "Giant pandas are inaccessible for long periods of time and traditional observation cannot unravel the ecological mystery of the animals." said Wei Fuwen, from the China Academy of Sciences' Institute of Zoology.
***Panda Porn***

Last but not least, we have a thirty second summation of the H.G. Wells story War Of The Worlds performed by bunnies. Take a look.
***War Of The Bunnies***