awww....you remembered my cougar's birthday!!! it was actually on the 26th, but that DOESN'T matter, because he will be thrilled that you remembered at all. since his b-day is the day after christmas, it's very important to pete that we all make a big deal about his special day. it tends to get overlooked.

the coug is in florida right now with his parents at the camp. i just got back from there today....we had a grand holiday....and my honey is now 30!!! ha!! he'll be back in a little bit....what's your gift, huh, huh, huh????? we have a care package for you, you fucker!! what's your address?
 

Hi Larry! Good News: your hideously deformed knitted scarf is almost ready! I knew I'd get it ready for you before the last snowfall....and its only slightly ed up, in a home-y, crafty kind of way. The snow here in Texas lasted a solid day, then it became hot here once again. See you soon, and I'm terribly happy about your promotion and ALL the rest of it!
 

oh yeah....our address is 2648 humboldt avenue south, apt. #4, minneapolis, mn 55408. you can call us at 612-871-5388
 

Let me know when that new EP is ready! Or anything... we need more music!
 

Dude, I spent two days in Utah and I can tell you, they were sober days, not that I wasn't trying........
I was at Bryce canyon for my girlfriend's family reunion. I drove a great number of miles from the campsite to a hotel / tourist market to find some fucking beer. I paid like 18 bucks for a twelve of Heineken, drank them all, and had a four beer AZ buzz. Utah fucking blows.....unless you are a blonde chick who is 24 and meets Larry on a bus, then Utah is full of adventure.
If I were you I would go after the bus girl, unless you are going to be living there for any more than a few months. Post sex-commitment disorder is at an all time high in the four corners area.
You never know, Maybe she can read her favorite book to you (see spot run) while you pretend to be interested all the while staring at the back of her head wondering when she will shut the fuck up.....just one possible scenario.
Keep making money and writing songs, that's what I do, and I'm still alive so I guess it's working.
We are working on a new album, you should check out the demos.
and fuck those lazy co-workers, and fuck communism. and by the way, I AM JOHN GALT.
http://www.secretlifeofpainters.com
 

Don't do it Larry. Everytime I went to Utah I had some fuckin mormon broad on my tip. I mean in every town and believe me... they may want to fuck...alot.. but they also want to get pregnant, ALOT... That is the last thing you need. Maybe Tom Bernard's half brothert can set you up with one of the girls at his high school. Dating high schoolers rules!!!