Remorse is dead.
Consequences are just that, concequences. If I want to delivery drive with no insurance, no title, and no Texas license, there are just consequences. Jail. Black guys. Dominoes. The holy Bible. I don't understand why the only piece of literature they give you in jail is a bible. There is not one fucking black guy in that damn book. Talk about missing your demographic. On long stints in the pokey I like to pretend that Jesus was really a black woman. It makes my betime reading so much more enjoyable.
You're wondering what I get sent to jail for anyway. Suprise! See, it's all voluntary. I fucking call in and schedule my jail time. You won't beleive this but you pay off $150.00 a day lounging in jail. Here's how it goes. You get pulled over for these 'crimes' . . . they are not moving violations. You get pulled over and the cop issues you the tickets and then you jauntily wave farewell and drive on down the road . . . still without insurance, title or license. Go before the judge and it's 50-50 if the cop will even show. Good odds right there. If he does show you plead guilty, and the judge asks you how much you will pay today, to which you respond 'not a fucking dime', sign a few forms, leave the courthouse and jump back in your car to drive home and watch Blossom reruns. It's just that simple folks.
God bless the slow ass backlogged bureaucracy we have in our criminal justice system today. It keeps me in good stead. I get free food, room and board, I get to expand my social network, and there's plenty of bible study time with sweet baby Jesus, Ms. Halle Berry.
That's the title of my new book, Going Into Debt, Working!

Just consequences. Consequences then nothing. Nothing. "I am a professional stock broker. I moved this guys money around to make more money for my whole life." Wow. What a thrilling existance. I painted.
Goddamit! Life is pointless. You know how I know life is pointless? Cause I am so fucking bored in this existance, that I actually wrote this set out to say to you to make you laugh. Which in turn makes me laugh.
Where did laughing come from? Besides crying, laughter seems to be one of the most innate human emmotions. I imagine laughter originated out of two cavemen hunting a triceritops and the dinosaur leaps out from a bush and completley devours one of the cavemen. The other just starts laughing because first, that wasn't him getting scarfed, but second and most importanintly, laughing is the only thing that keeps the caveman sane at this perticular moment. Hmm . . . investment banker. Other pointless jobs . . . comedy performer. As a comedy performer ones goal, I guess, is to get laughs. Apperently, people these days need a laughing time. You pay money, come into this room and tell yourself "This is gonna be some funny shit!" and prime your brain for laughing time. Okay ready? Penis penis penis! Cock and balls! Moist! Betty Crocker! One Life To Live! Scrabble on acid. Reading the phone book backward while hanging by sixteen foot rusty leg irons over the Atlantic ocean.
Sing some rap.
Did they cancel American Idol? Cause that show gave me so much good material. Ruben Studdard where are you? Did Clay Aiken go back to working at the YMCA or Boys Club that he was dregged from? That would be cool if you were a kid at the day camp he worked at and he had like tought you to play air hockey or something.
I hate to talk about TV in my act because we all know tv is stupid. I mean tv shows are specifically made to keep you watching until the next commercial. When the dude invented the tv he didn't think "Wow! Now we can tell stories to one another and learn and grow and become a better species with this thing I just invented which I will call a tee vee." No he thought, "Damn, I can make people buy stuff if I show them certain pictures and make them think they need things. But they will get bored. Well, we will show them these commercials every fifteen minuites but what will we put in between them? Hmm. That's a tough one. We don't want them seeing anything that might stimulate their brain and create an imputus toward them thinking free thoughts of their own volition, or heavan forbid, that they turn off the tv! No, we must tailor this filler, filler that we will call shows, to make them think the people and situations on these shows are in a large way relevant or perhaps even a disireable way of life for our tee vee watchers- even if these realities are a false, completely empty road of superfluicity and vapidness."
Yes, that's what the dude who invented the tee vee thought after he first plugged that bitch in the wall. Money, money, money.

Got four hours sleep last night and got up and went to a fucking mall in northwest Houston to rendevous with my kid. My sister and I then spent a wonderful Sunday with George eating and drinking, hitting the Half Price Books, swimming in the rain and seeing Napoleon Dynamite. Life is back to the happy spectrum. Strange unidentified triangles are being reported throughout the earths aerial hemispheres as of late.
Getting a new batch of songs ready for next Monday, apologize for missing this past Monday. I am finishing final tracking and mastering down of at least three new songs for you in just a few days! Am going to Astroworld with George this weekend! Will post pics. I haven't been to an amusement park in at least a decade! :)